End of the Fairytale
by anjel2
Summary: So that’s the Marauders to me. And, like Hansel & Gretel, this is the real ending. The one the books leave out. Call me a sadist, but I find it rather amusing. The fairy tale is almost over, and it’s certainly not happy. But it still makes me laugh.
1. End of the Fairytale

The Marauders. Hah. Now that's a laugh. Any kid that goes through Hogwarts knows about them. 

Infamous. Hilarious. Vivacious. Ridiculous.  

They all want to be like the Marauders. Every kid has this secret ambition to be like them. Whether it's the bookworm that sits in the furthest corner of the library, or the sixth-year Quidditch star that struggles to get through first year Charms. One Marauder for each house to aspire to be. 

James – he's the epitome of what every Gryffindor wants to be. Popular. Courageous. Brave.

Sirius – Hufflepuffs aspire to be mischief-makers, although they'd never say it out loud. Fun-loving. Loyal. 

Remus – a role model for any Ravenclaw. Smart. Intelligent. Intellectual.

Peter – oh, is there a Slytherin who doesn't desire his power. Cunning. Conniving. Sneaky. Resourceful.   

It's so stereotypical. It makes me laugh. Most things do, now days. Seriously. The whole myth is so perfect, I could almost think that Dumbledore purposely made the Marauders, just so that in a few years time, the kids would have something to look forward to. Probably set things up with the sheer purpose of 'reducing house rivalries' and all that crap. After all, don't you find it just a little too coincidental that there is one Marauder for every house? Perfect, huh? Come to think of it, I wouldn't be surprised if he had. Dumbledore has always been a fool. A crazy, crackpot old fool, as I heard someone once call him. He's crazy. Just crazy enough to think up something as genius as that, it's us that society call 'crazy' that are the smart ones, after all. 'Give me a sane man, and I'll cure him for you.' Some muggle git said that once. Dali, I think his name was. Some muggles know their crap a whole lot better then wizards do, I'm afraid. 

I think that's about what goes through most people's minds when they hear the word 'Marauder'. 

I'm a bit… shall we say… different to that 'most people'. Ok, stop with the coy crap. I'm absolutely nothing like them. Some people say I'm off my rocker. Mad. Fruit-loops. A few cards short of a full deck. 

It's a bit funny really. They're the mad ones, and they're just too crazy to realise it. 

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, right. The Marauders. What a laugh. The mere mention of the name sends me into stitches, actually. 

Seriously, it's like a fairytale. A vision, an aspiration, something to look forward to, somewhere you go. Someone you want to be. And yet, like a fairytale, no one looks at the end, the real end. Like who knows the end of Hansel and Gretel? Any kid can tell you. The witch gets shut in the oven, and the father comes to take them home. Oh, sure. That's all very good and well. But what about after that?  What about how the stepmother who is kicked out on the street, and ends up becoming a whore cause she can't get the money any other way, and ends up cursing the family for the rest of her life? What about the kids, who have to go to school, and are ridiculed because they have no mother? What about the father, who has to provide for two and will spend his life mourning the loss of the woman he loved? Aah, now I've got you thinking. Now, maybe, you'll understand what I've got to say just a little bit better. You wouldn't understand it anyway, no one does. But what the hell, I may as well try. Haven't got anything better to do with my life then educating you lot to the way of the world, right?

Oh, the pranks. The cruel jokes, the popularity, the absolute hilariousness, the pointlessness, the pure stupidity and childishness of those days, Honestly. I'd laugh if it didn't make me cry.

You see, its just like in Hansel and Gretel. After all the picturesque, Dumbledore induced, mythical crap was over, and the story was written, that was it. The shit hit the fan, like the American's say. There was nothing forcing it to stay together anymore, that's all. No psychological crap fed by the delusional Hogwarts staff. No more need to stick up for each other through all the shit that other kids chucked. No need to rely on that beautiful legendary friendship of the Marauders to pick up some hot darlings at the bar. No, siree. All that shit was finished with. Time for the little chickens to leave the nest, but what the chicks didn't realise is that as soon as they thought they could fly, they'd get their brains splattered over the floor. 

Hey, no big loss. Sorry, buddy, game over. That's life for ya. You win some and you loose some. And if you leave the nest? Well, mate, then you are no longer my problem. 

I watched, you see. I watched all the crap go down. I watched them fall apart. None of them knew, but I knew. I could see it. A new time was coming around, and it was time to pick sides. Every man for himself. Cousins, brothers, best mates. Who gives a shit? In the game of survival, no one does.

So I picked. Same as everyone does. I picked the side that I thought was right for me. 

But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm not here to talk about the stupid war. It stinks. I'm sick of it. Seriously, there are just a few old fools that no one likes that keep renewing it. Why? That's an easy question. They haven't got anything better to do. They're bored. And like all old people, they like things to be exactly like they were 'back in the day'. They have no strength to move on. So they just keep this stupid thing dragging. The whole war is ridiculous, outdated, overrated, and completely off topic, to say the least. I mean, what's the point in all this good and evil shit when the chicks will sleep with you anyways? 

It all fell apart, all the Marauders crap. Two of them got married. They didn't live happily ever after, and, wait for it, get this, Another-Marauder-Killed-Them. Classic, hey? I laughed when I heard the news. Really, I did. Like I said, it was a fairy tale. When fairytales are real, they just fall apart even harder. 

So let us review the positions of the Marauders today, shall we? 

One dead, and good bloody riddance, I say, Another is a convicted psychopath who killed the dead one, who is currently escaped from prison (surprise, surprise, and who didn't see that coming? As if a hero could stay in jail!) And most probably has gotten shelter from Dumbledore. The third is a werewolf, and I don't think I need to say any more. Oh right, he's a bachelor, a looser, and poor with no hopes of a social life what so ever. The last one? No one really knows. A betrayer, they reckon.  

So he's probably got the Convicted-Homicidal-Psychopathic-Maniac and the Impoverished-Unloved-Werewolf-Freak hot on his trail to revenge the Popular-Murdered-Forgiving-Hero. 

How funny is that? Oh, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. So much for the 'We-Will-Stay-Together-Forever-And-Live-Happily-Ever-After' ending, huh? Oh dear, this is really quite hilarious! It sounds like a crude wizard imitation of that shit that muggles call soap opera, or some crap like that anyway. Honestly, it's so utterly stupid that it's funny. 

So that's the Marauders to me, I guess. Where they were, and where they are now. And, like Hansel and Gretel, this is the real ending. The one the books leave out. Call me a cynic, a sadist, but actually, I find it rather amusing. The fairy tale is almost over, and it's certainly not happy. But it still makes me laugh.


	2. Answer

Hello there.

So after my two years in the wilderness we fondly like to know as real life, I got an anonymous review, and realised that I still owed you all rather a few things, but namely (and most importantly) the answer to this guessing fic.

Terribly sorry about the long wait, but I **am **back. If you want any more information, or are particularly bored, feel free to check my profile.

In the mean time, the answer for this one is…

**PETER PETTIGREW!**

Yes, rather the scandal, I'm well aware.

Well done and thankyou to everyone who posted a review/guessed.

Be expecting something in the near future. I'm not quite sure what it'll be – maybe another of these guessing fics, but written in a different manner. See how we go with it.

Questions, ideas, criticisms? Feel free to e-mail, or leave a review. You know the deal )


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